Unconditional Love

Two and a half weeks into the new year already. How are those resolutions working out for you? I don’t make them. I have no need to set myself up for failure. I also skip out on those goals; usually by now. Why do I have to begin the New Year with a specific goal in mind? I’m a day to day kind of girl. I’m happy living in the moment. I have been trying really hard to live in a state of peace.

I live in love. I am blessed to have a man that loves me unconditionally. This notion of unconditional love is foreign to me. I come from a turbulent past; one that involved a ton of drama. I’m over that now. I have made peace with my past. It’s over and done with. I have a new life now; one where there is an abundance of peaceful love. I am thankful for this chance.

Grieving Once Again

Ego says, “Once everything falls into place, I will find peace." Spirit says, “Once you find peace, everything falls into place." I don’t know who said that but it really hit home with me. I have not been at peace lately because I have been letting my ego get in the way. I have been struggling with some drama and it has hit me hard and deep. I have to make peace with what now is. I have to let go of ego and let spirit take over again. I must grieve my loss and move forward. It is essential to my well being.

Grieving is old hat to me. I am a widow by suicide. I have been to the deepest pits of hell. I have clawed my way up from the bottom many times. This time I am grieving the loss of one of my favorite people. He did not die. He went away because of the drama. I will miss him. I will miss his hugs. I will miss his smile and laugh. I will miss hanging out with him. I will miss everything about him. I will grieve deeply and recover yet again whether I like it or not. I must grieve to achieve peace.

Ava Gets A Boy Toy

Miss Ava has a fan. Ava is one of my pso characters. She is the old girl in the bunch coming in at around 54 years old. She is a pretty lady and she knows how to play games. Roll playing is the nature of my job. You are always trying to be somebody’s dirtiest fantasy. I work for a no taboo company. That means that you talk about anything the customer wants no matter how sick it is.

Ava got lucky with her stalker. He’s pretty tame if you are into this whole teenage neighbor next door fantasy. He pictures Ava in stockings so of course every time he calls I have to tell him what color my stockings are. He prefers silk as they are the smoothest. He likes to be tied up and played with. He likes to be made mommy’s little pet. And, he likes to have me make him refrain from having an orgasm. I know, a little depraved, right? The funny part is he does most of the talking. I just have to tell him “good boy” and “Mommy loves you” every once in a while. He takes care of the rest. It’s easy money. The best part is he calls every day. It is guaranteed money every morning. I sip coffee in my pajamas while I talk to him. I love my job and Miss Ava.