Grieving Once Again

Ego says, “Once everything falls into place, I will find peace." Spirit says, “Once you find peace, everything falls into place." I don’t know who said that but it really hit home with me. I have not been at peace lately because I have been letting my ego get in the way. I have been struggling with some drama and it has hit me hard and deep. I have to make peace with what now is. I have to let go of ego and let spirit take over again. I must grieve my loss and move forward. It is essential to my well being.

Grieving is old hat to me. I am a widow by suicide. I have been to the deepest pits of hell. I have clawed my way up from the bottom many times. This time I am grieving the loss of one of my favorite people. He did not die. He went away because of the drama. I will miss him. I will miss his hugs. I will miss his smile and laugh. I will miss hanging out with him. I will miss everything about him. I will grieve deeply and recover yet again whether I like it or not. I must grieve to achieve peace.