Depression sucks! It's dark, it's lonely and it hurts. I'm tired and both my soul and body ache. I feel like I'm coming down with a cold but I know I'm not. I know it is just the chemical imbalance rocking my brain. Irregular circuitry that misfires and sends the wrong signals. I hate feeling like shit. I hate that I get really bitchy. I hate that I am angry. I hate that I hate anything. I hate the holidays. This depression couldn't have happened at a worse time. I'm supposed to be loving and thankful and all I want to do is pull the covers over my head and let the day pass. Unfortunately, I don't have that luxury. The party is at my house.
"Attitude is the difference between ordeal and adventure." I don't know who said that but it couldn't have come at a better time. I have a choice to make tomorrow. I can be anxious and depressed or I can put on an Oscar worthy performance and be dazzling. I choose to shine and I will so after shot gunning a couple of beers. That's right, I beginning the celebration early. I should wake up around 10:30 and start drinking. If it's the only way to get through it then self-medicate me baby! I don't mean that I'm going to get fucked up. I'm totally not stable enough for that. I'll just maintain a slight buzz; just enough to take the edge off and make for a good time.
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